Well, it has been a few weeks now and outside of glitchy internet connections everything has been a wonderful exp. Right now I am in Germany having just had the most beautiful day so far, and am about to have myself a nap. We spent two weeks in Spain about 4 days in France and the rest is Germany, Switzerland the UK, then I go off on my own to Beijing. All together by the time I get home I will have seen so much and been to so many places the sinking in may take a couple months alone, the hard part has mostly been being homesick, when I get home I will have been away for three months. I feel very fortunate to be living my dream and dancing all over the world, but I understand those songs of missing home and feeling alone a kind of loneliness that can only be slightly softened with thoughts of home, though those thoughts can also make it harder. This feeling is new for me so I just try to focus on what brings me joy and that is the dance and those I am touring with, my family away from home. I fill with worry that all I know will have changed when I go home finally, three months is a long time away from those you love and so hard on the one that loves you, to a degree that the only way I can type this is by removing myself from the feeling of having possibly lost someone and having to start over again only to loose them once more. But this is me following my dream, and understanding that it comes with an equivalent price to the prize is not so easy when seen clearly, in fact it is easy to glamorize but the hardest thing I have ever done in my life is live my dream. I hope after this time away I will have grown a thicker skin and not feel so homesick, will not see myself under such a critical eye, and stop worrying so deeply about my future and if my choices will ultimately leave me a solo end like my mothers.
The beauty of the places I see lighten my heart, the dancers I meet inspire my dreams in ways I’ve never even considered, what I have discovered within myself as who I am or who I am becoming is something I could never learn within the “safe” and idol box I kept myself in before, so yes it is worth it, yes this is good. I see sprouts of new desires dreams and priorities emerging, unforced and hoped for as I evolve spiritually and artistically. From this I know I will always have something to offer others, and that is priceless to me.
So with the shows ahead I look forward to the unexpected, my solo trip to Beijing will build strength within me, and when I return home I will take full advantage of all I have taken for granted up until now, and love more fully than ever before in everything I do and to everyone I have in my life. I am lucky and thankful for all I have and even more thankful for all I did not realize I had up until now.
There is no place like home, and no fortune better than the life lessons learned from following your heart.
I was so lucky to see you dancing in Córdoba, and I am still stunned. I have seen many dancers before but nothing like you, Sabrina. I have no words to describe your performance, I love your dancing Sabrina. I love you. Take care..
thank you Manuel, that means a lot. It is inspiring to know the effect I have especially if it is positive. I am lucky in this life to see what I see by doing what I love. I hope to return to Cordoba soon.
April, as you know I am looking forward to sharing the next leg of tour with you I miss the depths we go in thought and the fun we have together, you enrich my life so much. <3
There was a time when we used to battle the evil of the world, with Love. Now everything is an ‘Eye for an Eye’ or ‘Fight Fire with Fire.’ We waste so much time poisoning our souls with bad emotions and thoughts and by doing so, we leave no room for love. As a believer in the power of the good side, I have taken on the responsibility of being my own arc angel with Club Bellydance. My solo in the show is a piece that sits very close to my heart. It is my soul in motion. When i dance this piece, all i see are the angels that watch over my mom. A little over a year ago, my mother/best friend was diagnosed with Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. She’s been battling this disease with over 4 different surgeries, and constant chemo treatments. She’s bravely lost 80lbs and her hair including eye lashes and eye brows. My father and I have taken her into to every treatment including the late night emergency visits and often we sit in the lobby and cry watching her go through the pain. I was never religious but always spiritual and the scariest times were listening to my mom pray ‘Hail Mary, Full of Grace’ in her subconscious states when she’d be in severe pain usually in the car on the way to the hospital, at the hospital waiting on meds, or when the meds weren’t working. It felt eerily close to death to hear that prayer from a nearly silent mouth when all I wanted to hear was anything resembling life. My life changed drastically. I went from touring carefree with the Bellydance Superstars and seeing the world to becoming a caretaker and trying to run the house the way she did before she got sick. My daily routine revolved around giving her shots, cooking, cleaning, giving meds, and when my dad got home, i could make a run to a store when there was other supervision. I felt so alone. My mother and best friend wasn’t the same. She was so depressed and weak she hardly talked. She slept all the time and a “good day” was when she felt like sitting up for an hour to watch Jeopardy. But eventually, she slowly started getting better. The ‘good days’ graduated to taking a ride in the car, but not getting out, going for a walk for 30 minutes, and then eventually – almost a full day of really good time to make use of and the energy to do so. When she got a to a point where things were more manageable, I could think about coming back on tour. And now, here i am in Europe with Club Bellydance. As I spin every night in my solo, I wear these homemade angel wings and i remember the dark months and how if i felt alone, i can only imagine how she must have felt. I wished i had wings or a means of traveling away from al the pain and i know she felt the same way but much more intensely. I shed the wings and begin spinning under the lights, staring up the ceiling with my dress that i used to imagine would be my wedding dress twirling around my ankles. In this moment, i feel alive. The most vulnerable. Just skin, and a gown, and light and hair reaching up in spindles to a higher place. Coming out of a silent shell and asking for help. I imagine my mom saying her hail mary’s in her time of need, and this – my form of prayer. My way of reaching out/up to something higher for peace, for health, for serenity. And as i pick up the white silk veils lying on the stage and i begin to spin with double veils, i feel the fabric whipping around me like Gods’ wind. I feel like i’m no longer on earth, I’m in another space. One where I can spin away all the sorrow and pain. If i spin fast enough, I pretend it falls off me, centrifugal force pulls it away. I see the reflection of all the lights on my veils and for a brief moment i remember i’m on a stage, with an audience, watching my therapy. So i try to dance out my story, give them my feelings, awaken them with the beauty of letting things out and not bottling them up. Trying to show the audience thats it ok to be vulnerable. And as times slips by me, the end of the piece stops and veil-less, i feel wrestled. Held tightly by my god holding me and saying “it’s ok.” I feel exhausted from purging those emotions but relieved at the same time. I wonder if anyone in the audience has a similar story that they are too scared to tell, and hoping that my bravery, my mothers’ bravery could encourage them to one day tell their story. I am so grateful for the opportunity to pray (my spinning) nightly about it that i am at a loss for words. Grateful that people want to see it, grateful that management of this company appreciates it KNOWING my need and intentions from that piece. Grateful that its a story that gets to be told. But most grateful because some prayers do get answered. On May 2nd 2012, I got a phone call from my mom telling me that she’s officially CANCER FREE and that they will continue maintenance chemo until December but for now, she can rest easy. I cried instantly. I’ve never been more proud and happy for her. Her strength and perseverance and positive attitude helped her through this. I felt like it was proof that Good can still conquer the Evil in the world. Love will conquer all.
There was a time when we used to battle the evil of the world, with Love. Now everything is an ‘Eye for an Eye’ or ‘Fight Fire with Fire.’ We waste so much time poisoning our souls with bad emotions and thoughts and by doing so, we leave no room for love. As a believer in the power of the good side, I have taken on the responsibility of being my own arc angel with Club Bellydance. My solo in the show is a piece that sits very close to my heart. It is my soul in motion. When i dance this piece, all i see are the angels that watch over my mom. A little over a year ago, my mother/best friend was diagnosed with Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. She’s been battling this disease with over 4 different surgeries, and constant chemo treatments. She’s bravely lost 80lbs and her hair including eye lashes and eye brows. My father and I have taken her into to every treatment including the late night emergency visits and often we sit in the lobby and cry watching her go through the pain. I was never religious but always spiritual and the scariest times were listening to my mom pray ‘Hail Mary, Full of Grace’ in her subconscious states when she’d be in severe pain usually in the car on the way to the hospital, at the hospital waiting on meds, or when the meds weren’t working. It felt eerily close to death to hear that prayer from a nearly silent mouth when all I wanted to hear was anything resembling life. My life changed drastically. I went from touring carefree with the Bellydance Superstars and seeing the world to becoming a caretaker and trying to run the house the way she did before she got sick. My daily routine revolved around giving her shots, cooking, cleaning, giving meds, and when my dad got home, i could make a run to a store when there was other supervision. I felt so alone. My mother and best friend wasn’t the same. She was so depressed and weak she hardly talked. She slept all the time and a “good day” was when she felt like sitting up for an hour to watch Jeopardy. But eventually, she slowly started getting better. The ‘good days’ graduated to taking a ride in the car, but not getting out, going for a walk for 30 minutes, and then eventually – almost a full day of really good time to make use of and the energy to do so. When she got a to a point where things were more manageable, I could think about coming back on tour. And now, here i am in Europe with Club Bellydance. As I spin every night in my solo, I wear these homemade angel wings and i remember the dark months and how if i felt alone, i can only imagine how she must have felt. I wished i had wings or a means of traveling away from al the pain and i know she felt the same way but much more intensely. I shed the wings and begin spinning under the lights, staring up the ceiling with my dress that i used to imagine would be my wedding dress twirling around my ankles. In this moment, i feel alive. The most vulnerable. Just skin, and a gown, and light and hair reaching up in spindles to a higher place. Coming out of a silent shell and asking for help. I imagine my mom saying her hail mary’s in her time of need, and this – my form of prayer. My way of reaching out/up to something higher for peace, for health, for serenity. And as i pick up the white silk veils lying on the stage and i begin to spin with double veils, i feel the fabric whipping around me like Gods’ wind. I feel like i’m no longer on earth, I’m in another space. One where I can spin away all the sorrow and pain. If i spin fast enough, I pretend it falls off me, centrifugal force pulls it away. I see the reflection of all the lights on my veils and for a brief moment i remember i’m on a stage, with an audience, watching my therapy. So i try to dance out my story, give them my feelings, awaken them with the beauty of letting things out and not bottling them up. Trying to show the audience thats it ok to be vulnerable. And as times slips by me, the end of the piece stops and veil-less, i feel wrestled. Held tightly by my god holding me and saying “it’s ok.” I feel exhausted from purging those emotions but relieved at the same time. I wonder if anyone in the audience has a similar story that they are too scared to tell, and hoping that my bravery, my mothers’ bravery could encourage them to one day tell their story. I am so grateful for the opportunity to pray (my spinning) nightly about it that i am at a loss for words. Grateful that people want to see it, grateful that management of this company appreciates it KNOWING my need and intentions from that piece. Grateful that its a story that gets to be told. But most grateful because some prayers do get answered. On May 2nd 2012, I got a phone call from my mom telling me that she’s officially CANCER FREE and that they will continue maintenance chemo until December but for now, she can rest easy. I cried instantly. I’ve never been more proud and happy for her. Her strength and perseverance and positive attitude helped her through this. I felt like it was proof that Good can still conquer the Evil in the world. Love will conquer all.
The “old age” is indicative of what is best for us all: tolerance, forgiveness, love for life, love for those you leave or have left us. Pain and suffering are drivers who grow our souls, and make us better for others. The belief and the belief expressed in the Good, the generous, or even in God, free us from the material chains which hinder our happiness. Above all, the beloved close to us who serenely faces with courage and perseverance his “condition” of the moment: disease, poverty, intolerable pain, even death – remains perhaps the most powerful example that will lead us towards the serenity and Love for others and the Divine. Prayer (I firmly believe) will add the varnish that will put us a little more protected from evil and selfishness.
The good has always won over evil, light over darkness! For us to want and accept with serenity the price sometimes.
Share his experience, his beliefs, I think is a good thing to help others see more clearly in them. But you often reach a certain notorious for attracting millions of anonymous listening.
As for the Bellydance Superstars – it’s a (too) brief moment of happiness, I am sure, forget the one (s) and other worries and bad things and thoughts that strew them daily.
I have an idea of what your Mum has gone through, not to that extent but when I was 24 (now 26) I took it upon myself to find out why I kept getting bladder/water infections since the age of 18 (I’d get really poorly once a month), I was so tired of doctors just giving me antibiotics, I wanted answers. A young trainee doctor cared about the agony I was going through and had me booked in for all kinds of tests on my kidneys, bladder, blood (in case I was diabetic), my womb and then my cervix. It turned out that I was at level one (CIN 1) of abnormal cells in my cervix and in my womb, if left too late and by the age of 40 I would be bordering on cancer of the womb. After many more tests and 4 painful operations it seems I am now all clear, I still have to have a 6 month check up but it was a very painful and scary time for me as a young woman who still hasnt had children, wondering if I ever will and worried these abnormal cells could get worse and angry that most of the doctors were not concerned. shrugged their shoulders and sent me away with antibiotics. My belly dancing and my art sort of saved me from spiralling into a black hole of despair.
Your mum is amazing, I met her once at Raqs Britannia in Blackpool a few years back, she Hi fived me for being a Libra! I don’t know you or your mum very well but as a fan of yours and also having loving respect for your wonderful mum I thought about you both and asked for spiritual protection to be sent to you both because being a spiritual person and attuned to Reiki Level one I did on occasion send you both distance healing and prayed for your mum’s health. I am glad she is ok now. She seems to be an amazingly strong and vibrant person because she never once gave the impression on her face book that she was so poorly, she obviously has such a zest and love of life to want to carry on smiling through such painful times.
I look forward to seeing your beautiful dance as an angel. I also have recently been influenced by the concept of flight and having wings and I am also making my own white wings-more moth-like or Faery-like because I feel so connected to the magic of nature and the earth at the moment.
Take care PJ, I love what you wrote
lots of love
Katie
“Be the change you want to see – in spite of all the sadness, there is space between the notes. Listen to the silence and breathe into your feelings, release in you that timeless space that gives birth to all phenomena. We are connected in our love and in our pain. Whatever suffering there may be, may it serve to crack open the sky-like nature of the mind, yours and mine, into clear light. For we are all travellers here on this school called earth.”
Your performance brought me to tears. Your blog did the same and I now see just why your performance touched me like it did. It was just beautiful and I’m so happy to have been there to see it in person!
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Forty-eight hours into the blissful sunshine of socal, I reflect on the tour that has past. The mechanical thumbs of my spa chair knead the knots out of my well traveled lumbar as the technician strategizes the best way to demolish my well developed calluses. I squeal as she aggressively scrubs my sensitive feet. It takes all my strength to keep from kicking her in the face. OH GOD.
Tour is an amazing adventure. When spending 24/7 with 7 people on a bus you see first hand people, self included, at their most beautiful, supportive and positive as well as their most selfish & competitive. Luckily through the little darkness and drama, we all remain friends & sisters untied not only by our experiences, but our love of dance.
We ended this tour in New England, the second to last show being in Boston – my Alma Mater. As a baby bellydancer it was in Boston where I danced in my first troupe, at my first hookah bar, Lebanese night club and theater show.
I had been looking forward to this home coming show for months and when I heard that Johara, my first troupe leader, would be performing with her Snake Dance Theater I was thrilled. I hadn’t seen her in 7 years and couldn’t wait to see how she had developed and show her how far I’ve come.
Her performance was beautiful and featured a number from her most recent theater show. She danced with members of her company, a beautiful fan veil ensemble piece. I was captivated by their musicality. It was beautiful.
The next couple weeks will be spent regrouping and reconnecting. My schedule is full of training sessions, performances, play dates, yoga dates and canoodling with my friend With my toes freshly coated in “million dollar red” I am ready to attack my LA todo list and make the most of my precious time at home.
Once i originally said I visited the -Notify me when new comments are added – checkbox and here every time a comment is added I receive five messages with the same comment. Will there be any way you can take out me from that system? Thanks!
I have had so much fun this tour! I look forward now to 2 more shows: Boston and Portland Maine; one more workshop on my favorite subject in Portland Maine, then 2 weeks off before heading to Spain to direct the full cast in a 2 week run of Bombay Bellywood! Then for the first time ever Club Bellydance will be performing in Europe!! I am so excited!
In the meantime, I wanted to share some last photos from this tour and also mention that we have the wonderful Denise Marino who took pictures of many of the Club Bellydance Florida events! To view her galleries go to: http://www.denisemarinophotos.com
Club Bellydance Jacksonville
Club Bellydance Richmond, March 16, 2012
Club Bellydance Birmingham
Club Bellydance Birmingham
Club Bellydance Chattanooga State Humanites Auditorium
Only a few more shows before the end of this tour, a two week break, and the beginning of our next tour spanning Morocco, Spain, France, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Belgium and the UK. We begin the tour with Bombay Bellywood for two weeks in Spain, and then continue on for the following month as Club Bellydance. We have had so much fun meeting and watching all the dancers in Canada and the US during our last two tours. Meeting all the European dancers and watching what they bring to the stage will be a while new thrill. Europe in the Spring will excitement of its own. So even as our thoughts focus on completing the last of our shows here, there is already that quickening of preparation for what’s to come.
While in Hong Kong last December I purchased a beautiful camera. I think photography will be my hobby for the next tour. Though one of my “to do” projects to keep me occupied on this tour was to sort through my unending collection of photos over the last seven years of tour, select only the best, delete the rest…I haven’t sorted through one picture ☹. The beauty of digital files is that you can store so many. The horror is that you can store SO MANY. The pearls get lost in the sand.
The sponsors have become increasingly generous as this tour drives to its end. Many bringing home backed food in addition to our necessary fruit and water and one generous woman prepared a whole meal of quinoa tubule, mozzarella tomato and basil salad, and home baked cookies just for us to take on the bus. So sweet. And we could taste the love. After a month of packaged foods everywhere we go, something home made is so nurturing.
When I get home I will prepare for an Odissi performance with my Indian Temple Dance teacher. I love the structure and strength of Odissi. The stomping and acting. Flowing between Classical Indian Dance and Bellydance offers so many interesting perspectives. The liquid movements of bellydance offer freedom and chaos. There is a wildness to it and elements of individual creation that fits the body in unique ways, each combination an allusion towards another story. The promise of another world. Classical Indian Dance in contrast has a structure and a lineage that requires each move to be exact concerning angles and shapes in order for a precise story to be told. This is not only a promise of a different world; it is in fact another world. Less important is the creation of innovative combinations and more important is the dancer’s ability to move fluidly from centuries old pre-established combinations created to serve a larger story. Each like a poem and science, separate, yet at the same time. Such is all dance I suppose. Such is life I suppose. A good life.
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I’ve always believed and have experienced a divine energy come over me when I step upon a stage. I’ve watched dancers take on movements and expressions that I’ve never seen them do during an average day, I’ve felt this come over me a place of creative abunDANCE, limitless space, timelessness, an endless breath. I find myself lost in this place when I am aligned and even when I’m not , however there is this fragile human body to consider, when I forget I am quickly reminded. As my confidence rose I started throwing myself into performance as if nothing could hurt me. A few shows ago I was spinning and planned to end this spin in a drop, I watched a smile on an audience members face grow with every turn and my heart was filling up as I place my turning point to her eyes. Unfortunately the floor had an unfriendly slant I prepared for that drop, I took one last look at that woman’s beautiful smile and returned it and down I went. My right knee went (pop) a sharp pain shot through my leg but I kept going, hit by the endorphins and adrenaline (numb) I knew I could finish the song and the show, then face the damage I’ve done later.
As the hours went by I could walk on it less and less, after about four hours swelling and stiffness I could not lift my leg or put any weight on it without limping. I was so worried, I pushed it too far and I knew it I felt too confident and injured myself. Lucky for me we had a day off the next day I was able to spend a day doing everything I could to help it heal. I was so worried I messed myself up to badly to dance, my heart broke. It occurred to me that an injury such as this one could end my career take my life in a completely different direction I was not even prepared for. Then I realized… I have no one to catch me, no one could take care of me until I was better, no alternate career plan that I was established in that would cover such an accident or the healing process, no insurance to cover a surgery possibility that a good friend of mine recently had to go through. I fretted in that moment knowing I was all I had, and injured I was not much to myself or anyone, I know I worry too much but I also realized just how serious this could have been for me. I think those 12 hours made me both thankful for every moment I felt more able to walk on it, and more aware of some changes in need to make to insure my future as an artist. I really did give up every bit of everything I’ve ever had that would “secure” me in order to be a dancer, I will never regret that as long as I’m able, as long as I’m able as long as…. Thankfully with all I am something divine happened.. I went from a total hobble to about 75% overnight, the last time I injured myself like this I was down for 6 months.
The amazing group of women I danced with made alterations to the show, so that I could dance the rest of this tour with a hobble if I had too. I did my solo once filled with kicks spins and drops to hardly a move more than 10 feet in the right or left direction, I danced the entire show in forced arch in order to prevent my heels from ever touching the ground to avoid that ice-pick sharp pain moving up my entire right side. Knowing my turns looked sloppy, shimmies were not stage-big at all, Burbur walks and floorwork for me entirely removed… Thanks to adjusting and help from Stefanya, Moria, Sabah, and Lauren I still danced.
Each day for my knee it is a little better but this incident woke me up in more ways than ever. I am a fragile human being and need to be more than careful, and constantly awake. This gift is too precious to be careless with.
I am so glad you are feel better. I dislocated my knee a few years ago while dancing and it was a little before I began taking bellydance seriously. I knew I had to take care and strengthen it in general, but a couple weeks ago, a few days before a performace, it slightly shifter while practicing but I was able to save myself from a bigger injury. Still, I had to stay off that leg for a day and wrapped my knee in a bandage for the performance. I had the same reaction. It does make one realize how amazing it is to be completely healthy and able to do what you love to do. May your knee continue to heel. Let the dancing continue. Much love.
At one point in his life, Jerry Springer was the mayor of Cincinnati. But for the past twenty years his show is absolute rubbish and tonight it add to the ambiance of the hotel room Sabrina Fox and myself just arrived to. It is 2:54 in the am and the commercials on the TV are all home made. There is just a few more shows left on this Club Bellydance tour of the east coast and tonight I think I might be ready all ready. I am missing my dog and my friends. I am also really missing driving. I pretty much have sweet wheels back home in LA. Jumping in, turning the key and going where ever it is I want, tonight this is my dream….FREEDOM.
The last 30 days have been great for me, and I am really grateful to be in this show. Our scheduled has allowed a good amount of time each performance day for me to train and stretch my body. I feel really strong and confident within my dance right now and I am enjoying the expansive experience. I will take all this extra time back with me to LA. I will have two beautiful weeks there and then I will be off the Morocco, Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium and England. The first two weeks I will be performing the Bombay Bellywood show and we will wrap it up with the European Club Bellydance dates so never a dull moment Yeah : ) I can’t wait.
As we head into this last week of the Club Bellydance East Coast tour we are blessed with a glorious day off; the majority of which I have spent nursing a cold, editing videos, and updating our various social networks with the just announced tour dates. I am super excited that we will be taking this concept to Europe in April/May following a 2 week Bombay Bellywood tour in Spain. Spring in Europe = Beautiful.
Its hard to look too far forward when we are still surrounded by an amazing tour. As we near my Alma Mater (Berklee College of Music in Boston) I am progressively seeing more familiar, and familial, faces in the crowd. From old friends, former acquaintances, and my big brothers family – this is when tour really begins to feel like home.
In all these cities that we are traveling to and performing in we are making friends, rubbing elbows and exchanging inspirations. Getting to chat with local dancers every night and getting to watch them perform renews my spirit and love for bellydance.
Here is a beautiful video I made with interviews from the Raleigh, NC dancers. These Women, and men, put on a great show for us at the Cat’s Cradle. Enjoy
Despite our grand names, we are, in fact, human. I guess Bellydance Humans isn’t as striking an image, but it is true. We live on the road, on a bus, in hotel rooms and dressing rooms. Our luggage is our home and our sense of familiar is each other. Most of the time we arrive at a venue having driven in from the previous city. We come to the theatre before we check into the hotel. We usually arrive without make-up, groggy, stiff, tired, sometimes sick, PMS-ing, and almost surely hungry and dehydrated. It’s not always pretty. None of this is a result of mistreatment by management, we are well taken care of, it’s simply a consequence of a very full schedule over a prolonged period of time. The road inevitably wears on you and we are continually being picked up and placed into new situations: each venue is different, each dressing room is different, sometimes we have to construct our dressing rooms out of furniture and loose mirrors. At one venue we had to use the bus as our dressing room. Now, before you judge us darlings for needing a specific and isolated dressing room, think for a moment how difficult it is to keep up with every bit of make-up and costuming you will need for a show every night, each night a different location, and for six weeks to two months. Losing something is not an option. There is not time in our tour schedule to go to a make-up counter, or ballet store, or order something from ebay to arrive when? Where? So just keeping up with yourself is enough to become OCD…then throw five sisters on top of that with all of their costumes, jewelry, make-up and hair… Can you imagine six women sharing one bathroom for two months? Pretty clostrophobic. Things must have an order or they get lost, and if they get lost you’re screwed. There has also been theft on tour, from costumes to cash to laptops and smart phones. This is even more devastating because of the sense of violation. It’s tough to recover. None of this is to say that we suspect any of the women we dance with of anything (the thefts have historically been by men who snuck into the theatre) but the more privacy, a scarce resource on tour, we receive, the more calm we feel. However, once properly caffeinated I will talk to every human I encounter (also dogs and/or babies and not in that order) especially if it’s a woman and it’s about dance. But sometime I’m sick, cramping, Mercury is in retrograde, or I’m exhausted and, trust me, there should be no words coming out of my mouth during these times. Case in point, I have had a headache now for five days straight, no breaks. How is that even possible? Pollen? Highway Fumes? Dehydration, sleep, nutrition? I don’t know, but I can’t think straight and it’s all I can do to conserve energy for the show each night. It’s slightly like a migraine too, so I can’t see clearly without straining and increasing the pain in my head. So if you encounter me fresh off the bus or mid-make-up in this state, please forgive. We love so much dancing with all the women who share the stage with us for Club Bellydance. You may not see us, but we sneak out to watch the first act almost every single show. We have to warm-up and stretch while watching, or we are hiding in the balcony or side stage, but we are watching and smiling and yelling ourselves hoarse over you lovely ladies (and sometimes gentlemen). You each bring so much life and talent to our stage, and it keeps each night fresh even when the days run together like Groundhog Day. Half the time we aren’t sure which city we’re in. But we are always honored, truly, and grateful to be with you creating such energy together. And despite the not-so-pretty realities of life on a bus, we are each of us so very grateful for the time, talent, and support the bellydance community as a whole has given to The Bellydance Superstars to make this project possible. Thank you all, and I hope the next time we meet I have just had a giant dirty chai latte…I’m much more fun to be around ☺
Awe Moria, you rock/raq woman! Sorry to hear bout your headaches, probably due to a combination of all the above. Hugs and healings. We are always so amazed and fortunate when you come to Chattnaooga! You are truely a wonderful spirit on and off the stage.
I love this! Great post and hope your headache/migrane feels better soonr. Life on the road can be tough, but all you ladies rock it every night and make belly dancers proud. Feel better and sending love from Orlando.
Well, it has been a few weeks now and outside of glitchy internet connections everything has been a wonderful exp. Right now I am in Germany having just had the most beautiful day so far, and am about to have myself a nap. We spent two weeks in Spain about 4 days in France and the rest is Germany, Switzerland the UK, then I go off on my own to Beijing. All together by the time I get home I will have seen so much and been to so many places the sinking in may take a couple months alone, the hard part has mostly been being homesick, when I get home I will have been away for three months. I feel very fortunate to be living my dream and dancing all over the world, but I understand those songs of missing home and feeling alone a kind of loneliness that can only be slightly softened with thoughts of home, though those thoughts can also make it harder. This feeling is new for me so I just try to focus on what brings me joy and that is the dance and those I am touring with, my family away from home. I fill with worry that all I know will have changed when I go home finally, three months is a long time away from those you love and so hard on the one that loves you, to a degree that the only way I can type this is by removing myself from the feeling of having possibly lost someone and having to start over again only to loose them once more. But this is me following my dream, and understanding that it comes with an equivalent price to the prize is not so easy when seen clearly, in fact it is easy to glamorize but the hardest thing I have ever done in my life is live my dream. I hope after this time away I will have grown a thicker skin and not feel so homesick, will not see myself under such a critical eye, and stop worrying so deeply about my future and if my choices will ultimately leave me a solo end like my mothers.
With my toes freshly coated in “million dollar red” I am ready to attack my LA todo list and make the most of my precious time at home.
April Rose 8:59 am on May 11, 2012 Permalink
I love you Sabrina. You are a top notch human being, courageous and compassionate.
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Manuel Gomez 8:56 am on May 12, 2012 Permalink
I was so lucky to see you dancing in Córdoba, and I am still stunned. I have seen many dancers before but nothing like you, Sabrina. I have no words to describe your performance, I love your dancing Sabrina. I love you. Take care..
Sabrina Fox 4:55 am on May 13, 2012 Permalink
thank you Manuel, that means a lot. It is inspiring to know the effect I have especially if it is positive. I am lucky in this life to see what I see by doing what I love. I hope to return to Cordoba soon.
April, as you know I am looking forward to sharing the next leg of tour with you I miss the depths we go in thought and the fun we have together, you enrich my life so much. <3