 Updates from sabrina-fox
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I’m seeing places I never expected to see in my lifetime, I’m witnessing so much beauty in the world, it is more than breathtaking and a constant pinch away from real to me.
I have seen churches well over 300 years old and giant pirate ships docked on the shores of Italy, I’ve met people with the charm I thought I’d only see by a master oil painters brush, and all this exploration seems to have done is opened an even deeper hunger to see more.
Since I started touring with BDSS I began a list of country’s I’d like to spend time in and really absorb, at the moment Spain is on the top of my list, then Scotland, Germany, Italy Etc.. I’ve spent a week in Germany already and cannot take in the beauty quickly enough, it’s just too much I will need at least a month. Italy and Switzerland I had only spent a day but Italy being a favorite of mine after spending time there before I’ve always wanted to return and will now for sure, I’ve got to see more of those ships. Switzerland, wow it really is a land of gingerbread houses and I will return to eat them all. Soon I will head to my first favorite, London England, a place I had taken myself alone in and spent a month with no other plan but to get lost, was the greatest experience.
On a very special note, Nice France and Paris were places I had always dreamed of not only performing in but also teaching in and I was able to realize that dream two weeks ago, I instructed a workshop in Nice to a group of wonderfully trained dancers and was asked to return. France is a destination I’d like to live one day not only in honor of my mother but also because it was home to me when I was very young. So as you might guess I would LOVE to return ASAP, and am making plans to spend a month in September 2012.
When I began my journey as a dancer, like many artists I (my faith) was tested, I hit many walls and fell down many pits each time getting up and dusting off only to try again, this was a passion I nearly gave up at 24. I had wondered if it was worth it many times and actually just days before I discovered belly dance I dropped the ball. Thankfully the passion was stronger than my pride and took me back, the ball bounced right into a little cafe where Urban Tribal performed and that re-lit the blaze within me even stronger than before. I know no matter what I’ll will be dancing the rest of my life.
I look forward to the journey ahead.
Ahoy!
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 Well, it has been a few weeks now and outside of glitchy internet connections everything has been a wonderful exp. Right now I am in Germany having just had the most beautiful day so far, and am about to have myself a nap. We spent two weeks in Spain about 4 days in France and the rest is Germany, Switzerland the UK, then I go off on my own to Beijing. All together by the time I get home I will have seen so much and been to so many places the sinking in may take a couple months alone, the hard part has mostly been being homesick, when I get home I will have been away for three months. I feel very fortunate to be living my dream and dancing all over the world, but I understand those songs of missing home and feeling alone a kind of loneliness that can only be slightly softened with thoughts of home, though those thoughts can also make it harder. This feeling is new for me so I just try to focus on what brings me joy and that is the dance and those I am touring with, my family away from home. I fill with worry that all I know will have changed when I go home finally, three months is a long time away from those you love and so hard on the one that loves you, to a degree that the only way I can type this is by removing myself from the feeling of having possibly lost someone and having to start over again only to loose them once more. But this is me following my dream, and understanding that it comes with an equivalent price to the prize is not so easy when seen clearly, in fact it is easy to glamorize but the hardest thing I have ever done in my life is live my dream. I hope after this time away I will have grown a thicker skin and not feel so homesick, will not see myself under such a critical eye, and stop worrying so deeply about my future and if my choices will ultimately leave me a solo end like my mothers.
The beauty of the places I see lighten my heart, the dancers I meet inspire my dreams in ways I’ve never even considered, what I have discovered within myself as who I am or who I am becoming is something I could never learn within the “safe” and idol box I kept myself in before, so yes it is worth it, yes this is good. I see sprouts of new desires dreams and priorities emerging, unforced and hoped for as I evolve spiritually and artistically. From this I know I will always have something to offer others, and that is priceless to me.
So with the shows ahead I look forward to the unexpected, my solo trip to Beijing will build strength within me, and when I return home I will take full advantage of all I have taken for granted up until now, and love more fully than ever before in everything I do and to everyone I have in my life. I am lucky and thankful for all I have and even more thankful for all I did not realize I had up until now.
There is no place like home, and no fortune better than the life lessons learned from following your heart.
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I’ve always believed and have experienced a divine energy come over me when I step upon a stage. I’ve watched dancers take on movements and expressions that I’ve never seen them do during an average day, I’ve felt this come over me a place of creative abunDANCE, limitless space, timelessness, an endless breath. I find myself lost in this place when I am aligned and even when I’m not , however there is this fragile human body to consider, when I forget I am quickly reminded. As my confidence rose I started throwing myself into performance as if nothing could hurt me. A few shows ago I was spinning and planned to end this spin in a drop, I watched a smile on an audience members face grow with every turn and my heart was filling up as I place my turning point to her eyes. Unfortunately the floor had an unfriendly slant I prepared for that drop, I took one last look at that woman’s beautiful smile and returned it and down I went. My right knee went (pop) a sharp pain shot through my leg but I kept going, hit by the endorphins and adrenaline (numb) I knew I could finish the song and the show, then face the damage I’ve done later.
As the hours went by I could walk on it less and less, after about four hours swelling and stiffness I could not lift my leg or put any weight on it without limping. I was so worried, I pushed it too far and I knew it I felt too confident and injured myself. Lucky for me we had a day off the next day I was able to spend a day doing everything I could to help it heal. I was so worried I messed myself up to badly to dance, my heart broke. It occurred to me that an injury such as this one could end my career take my life in a completely different direction I was not even prepared for. Then I realized… I have no one to catch me, no one could take care of me until I was better, no alternate career plan that I was established in that would cover such an accident or the healing process, no insurance to cover a surgery possibility that a good friend of mine recently had to go through. I fretted in that moment knowing I was all I had, and injured I was not much to myself or anyone, I know I worry too much but I also realized just how serious this could have been for me. I think those 12 hours made me both thankful for every moment I felt more able to walk on it, and more aware of some changes in need to make to insure my future as an artist. I really did give up every bit of everything I’ve ever had that would “secure” me in order to be a dancer, I will never regret that as long as I’m able, as long as I’m able as long as…. Thankfully with all I am something divine happened.. I went from a total hobble to about 75% overnight, the last time I injured myself like this I was down for 6 months.
The amazing group of women I danced with made alterations to the show, so that I could dance the rest of this tour with a hobble if I had too. I did my solo once filled with kicks spins and drops to hardly a move more than 10 feet in the right or left direction, I danced the entire show in forced arch in order to prevent my heels from ever touching the ground to avoid that ice-pick sharp pain moving up my entire right side. Knowing my turns looked sloppy, shimmies were not stage-big at all, Burbur walks and floorwork for me entirely removed… Thanks to adjusting and help from Stefanya, Moria, Sabah, and Lauren I still danced.
Each day for my knee it is a little better but this incident woke me up in more ways than ever. I am a fragile human being and need to be more than careful, and constantly awake. This gift is too precious to be careless with.
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 I’ve been very fortunate to be touring through the U.S. at such a perfect time of year, the trees are blooming and coming alive out of the dead of winter. We arrive at the venues with an hour to spare and I do my best to take that hour outside, the last few venues have been surrounded by Oak trees.
I’ve never really considered myself a tree hugger or practiced doing this “silly gesture”, well.. until now. One afternoon I was feeling a bit more than a usual load of stress, and needed to be alone to clear my thoughts. I gravitated to a great big Oak tree, it called to me, I know I know… Sounds odd but it really did, I stood in front of it then placed my hands on it and instantly felt connected to something indescribable, if I could actually see what was happening it would have looked like energy being sucked from the palms of my hands and pulled into the tree, then into the earth, not like I was loosing energy but it was pulling the negative static from me. Within seconds I felt as of my feet were growing roots yet my head was attached to the sky I was everywhere, everything at once and more relaxed than I had felt in many months. At once everything was okay, I was free, all the fears and worries I had been filled with were gone. After I removed my hands from the tree, I sat under it, relaxed, feeling so thankful, then just listened to the world around me taking in my realization that I was everywhere and everything at once, or better said had remembered that I was everything and everywhere at once and never alone.
Since that day something in me reopened. The following day I found a bridge over a river and went to the center of that bridge and found that same peace once again, my mind easily shut off and I once again felt expanded everywhere at once, the tingling of the sun on my skin seeing it’s red glow through my eyelids, the sound of the river and chattering birds, the occasional cool breeze it was… perfect. Afterward just before getting ready for the stage I went to the shade of a nearby blooming tree and rested supine looking up through the flowering branches at hints of blue sky, feeling the roots on my back melting into the earth, watching the bees busy gathering for the hive. I’ve rediscovered something that has always been available to me, the world around me, just placing my hands on that old Oak tree a “Wake up call” I had not realized I’d fallen asleep until that day, was so self absorbed so trapped in my mind imprisoned by what I could not control, worries, fears, dreads. It does try to pull me back in but since I rediscovered that place, that peace I can more easily redirect myself outside of myself.
From that day with the Red oak tree, I kept a small moss covered chip of bark that I hold in my hand when nothing but the concrete jungle is surrounding me, takes me back to that place of absolute connection and peace. Life is beautiful when the eyes are open, So… I guess I am now officially a tree hugger 
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 Wow this leg has been going fast, the momentum has been non stop since day one. Every show has been a gem all on the same level of greatness. I am so happy to see elements of FCBD And Gypsy Caravan in the Tribal groups both authentic and fusion. I saw and shared the stage with my BDSS favorites Ansuya and Bozaenka, and soon will be doing a show in Atlanta Georgia where my Father will see me perform.
April 1st I get home for about 10 days and then am off to Europe and China for both The Bombay Bellywood and Club Belly dance shows then to teach 5 choreography’s in 6 days in Beijing. Once I return I am planning to head to France to catch up with family there for a few weeks this will be in early June. I have a feeling I will be happy to be home for summer.
I love where my life has taken me and the saying “be careful what you wish for you just might get it” is so damn true! It takes a lot to keep up. I cherish a good rest and have gotten used to falling asleep anywhere anytime in just about any position I realized much of my insomnia bouts were caused by to much ease now I sleep when I can and dance when I can and eat when I can and untimately…Blog when I can This one was a scramble but I just let it all pour out from my head.
See you on the stages and everywhere else <3
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 I am thankful…
I have faced so many challenges and continue to face challenges as a dancer. I always have the option to stop, to turn away and do something else, but I wont, I can’t, it would be impossible. I often face that mountain that seems like a sheer faced cliff to climb and not a single tool in sight to help me do it other than what I have already faced and the lessons I’ve gained from tough challenges before. There is not a single day that goes by where I do not question this artform, wonder where it will take me, doubt myself and my decision to follow my heart. Not a single day goes by where I do not question what I may have lost or may be giving up to stick to this path. But, even if I tried to stop this and do something else the passion would rip through me and put me back in motion on that stage kicking screaming but in the end truly loving every minute of it, and for that I am deeply Thankful.
Like most Belly dancers that have been performing 5+ years you’ll know what I mean when I say, I’ve been hired to dance in the most unusual places, for the most unexpected reasons, worn the most interesting costumes, for some very interesting people… and themes??? well, that list could go on forever. Most situations I would not put myself through again and can see them coming thankfully, but in all I’d say about 60% are worth it. Outside of the pleasures of class and dancing for friends and family, the art of belly dance opens up a world of performance possibilities to the belly dancer that are far from predictable. What I am most recently thankful for is that the Club Bellydance production protects me from having to handle poor sound systems, rough dangerous stages, personal safety, and for the most part audience persons that are non supportive of the dance art.
In recent days my heart has been heavy with concern for some folks that are performing with us, I have recently read some discontent over dancers having to pay the 10.00 discounted rate toward attending and performing in the the event along side the tour group. I would like to do my best clear the air a bit, it is with all my heart when I say that the 10 bucks per participating person is to help us create what would otherwise be impossible for such a professional outcome for EVERYONE involved. The last two weeks I have watched our crew spend 2+ hours before a show working as quickly as possible, setting up the safe flooring, making sure the stage was fit for all of the dancers that were to set foot upon it, they test the sound, the lighting, the presentation, set up the seats so that everyone in the show and those attending it were given the best possible experience to remember forever, and all this before the dancers attending even arrived. Then there is the venue fee, and our commitment and full support of everyone attending this is only part of our end of the deal.
So know that it may have not been presented in a way that was understood as a fee mainly to support the other end and that this is what goes into making this all possible for all of us, to support one great show that connects all of us. The Club Bellydance tour is going forward on the steam of everyones involved contribution.
I cannot tell you how beautiful this experience has been for so many and I know that I will do what I can to keep this tour going and support this for everyone in any way I can, we all are putting in something more than expected to make this possible. I believe in this venture and have met so many happy dancers I hope that my intention to express the reasons behind it are understood in a way that is supportive of the dance and the need for everyones efforts in order to keep it connected and continued. The last thing I’d ever want is to see a good idea fail over something trivial to the bigger picture the absolute outcome of supporting a dance form that is so enriching full of life lessons and self discovery and acceptance, and being able to share the experience with every dancer possible.
If for my sake alone just keep dancing right on over anything that tries to hold you back. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope to share the stages with all of you dancers in the future
with love, Sabrina
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 We just finished a day in New Orleans getting ready to begin our Club Belly Dance tour, rehearsals went great, now I am filled with excitement. I Cannot wait to see friends and fellow dancers. I’m really hoping to connect with some Tribal dancers that have their ATS on cue, and do some group improvisation, to me that would be the best connection to the communities as we pass through, I know I will be keeping my hopes up for this.
We also get to bring back Bombay Bellywood for 1 glorious show in Lake Charles, it will be so fun to bring the crew all together again.
It’s two hours later in New Orleans, I’m in the French quarter and about to head out for a walk to enjoy the balmy evening for a little while. I feel myself adjusting to the momentum of the tour already, a bit faster than usual I know very good things will be coming forward with this one, so happy and feel so lucky to be a part of it all.
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 Woah this week of wrapping it up get’s more and more crazy. The life of an artist is never dull I will say that. I was happy to see my suitcase of show costumes zipped and ready to go, this means I just need to prepare for the stuff ahead while I’m away, so I have a place to come home too.
Final class performance this Sunday afternoon, and last classes before next June are this Monday and Tuesday then graciously given over to beloved fellow dance teachers.
I have a lot ahead of me and I am leaving a lot behind in the hands of fate and trust. Every tour I return with a different perspective on what I must do to keep touring, the reestablishing takes time, because the momentum in students and gigs is hindered by 2/3′s but this time I am doing my best to hit the ground running rather than stunned once I return, the challenge for me is to find a way to keep the dance life rolling at home while I am away, Thankfully the emergence of Spring and summer offer much inspiration. It’s a race, but always a victory in some aspect or another no matter how it’s run.
I must always remember to keep moving forward one step ahead of myself, keep dancing taking all the classes I can, keep creating trying every angle and perspective and most of all keep faith in myself and my dream in order to keep from falling down.
Until next time!
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 Almost all packed only two more costumes to go! Once I finished repairs on them its time to pack the Makeup, hair adornments and jewel bits. I’ve also been preparing for a big student show on the 19th, many of them first timers to ATS and Tribal-fusion belly dance, also saying my goodbyes to students in my weekly classes has me a bit sad. This part of touring for me is the most difficult, saying goodbye. I know I will be back but the momentum takes about a month to build and about three to gel, I feel a little like the fruit will be just ripe for Spring right as I skip town. My biggest wish is that I built enough of a momentum to keep the dancing-ball rolling until I return and can share in the exp I missed while on tour. Many of my students will be hitting the stages for the first time, some of my long time students will be teaching for the first time, and showing friends and family what they are learning and how they are growing as dancers. I hope they post the exp where I can see it while I am touring around cultivating new things to share and teach, nothing makes me feel as good as seeing dancers I know grow into all they have ever dreamed of being and had allowed me to take some small part in their growth.
On another note my sweetheart gets back from Israel in a couple days, he’s only been gone a couple weeks and I am over the top about how much I miss him, I will be a mess after 6 weeks without him I know it, I am happy we get to spend about a week together before I go, I plan on not leaving his side for a second till I head out on tour. If you couldn’t tell today is a hard day, but don’t get me wrong, I am very excited about the tour ahead, I am just a bit sad about what I am leaving behind and hope nothing cultivated is lost when I return, I know it is a silly fear but still real to me right now.
So, on to finish my preparations before a 12 hour work day tomorrow. Busy Busy Dancing beeeeee…
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 “I am too excited to sleep!” April Rose says it best. This is how I have been feeling though, I was up all night and this is kinda nuts, I’m three costumes repaired and ready, two more to go. I just loaded up on more coffee this morning and am getting ready to go at it some more.
My dreams last night during the few hours of sleep I got were full of images from the Passed BDSS shows, I am crossing into obsession and fear of memory loss ha!.
But all the mind spinning aside I believe this is the most fun I have had as a dancer, yes it is an incredible amount of hard work! more than I believe I could have ever guessed before jumping into this abyss of faith, however in this case once the costumes are finished, the sets memorized, and the system of up and go are set it is all dancing, dancing dancing dancing and that’s all I want.
I have a couple wonderful pets I leave behind when I go on tour, two beautiful performing snakes a hard to find Taiwan beauty 5 years old, a beautiful Salmon red tail boa going on 1 year, seriously the best pets to have as a belly dancer. I think I can understand another connection to why many dancers have these types of pets (reptiles), they dont really care when you go and they love you when you are home. I have my Red tail Boa on my shoulders now as I type and have my coffee, maybe one day I will get to have him in the Club Belly dance show. All I am to him right now is a warm tree
So among other things that happen with lack of sleep is serious A.D.D. weeeee!!
Until next blog, which I feel will be very soon.
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